What do you think? I'm pretty proud of it so far.?

I don't want to sound mean but it didn't sound intersting. I read the fist few lines and got board... Sorry. Maybe you should add more detal or something. Reading this made me get a head ache. But don't stop writing you will alwasy get better. So keep trying next time maybe write something alittle more intersesting. AND try and not put stuff on the internet some one can still it.